I can't believe someone could do this to me...

Can't believe he did this to me.

Honesty is what I'm seeking.

This is just my luck. Being with someone finally, I thought I could actually be happy. Possibly fall in love.

Stupid was I.

Not even 24 hours, it ended.

Doesn't seem to bother him at all. Yeah he apologized.

But saying ''sorry" doesn't fix the hurt, the pain, that I feel inside.

This is just my luck. He didn't really want me as his girl. He fooled me.

All the lies he told me. Will I ever be about to trust him again? Forgive him?

Doubt it. But maybe.

What was I thinking? Going over there with no parental supervision?

He could have done anything to me. Thank the Lord he didn't.

I wasted my first kiss and first make out on him. How stupid can one girl be?

All the people you'll meet.

I met some really great people tonight. When I least expected it.

After doing a favor for my dad, brother,and 'other' mom which was taping them while they were shooting pool, I went to sit down to review what I had filmed.

I did that for a while and a girl who was sitting at the bar noticed I was sitting by myself motioned for me to come over there to where she was. So I did.

We got to talking and talked for about 3 hours I'd say.
I learned that her and her boyfriend had just moved down here from Indiana and have only been living in North Carolina for 4 months or so.
The more we talked the more I learned about her and vice versa. Of course.

Her boyfriend and I talked for a while and they have been dating for 4 years which is a long time considering their age. I think it's great that they have been dating. Brandi, which is his girlfriend's name told me that he is the love of her life. (:

I told her what was up with me and everything and I told her that I'm tired of being lonely and single and that I've only never had an 'actual' boyfriend besides the one from a one-week summer camp. Which he lived in Florida.

She told me that I was a very beautiful girl and that I looked older than my actual age (I get that a lot anyway about the age part). I told her that I was beginning to become desperate and her boyfriend butted in whenever I said that. He told me to never become desperate or anything like that because all guys mostly want is sex and that body size didn't necessarily matter. A guy would still want me for that. Then he said it isn't good to become so desperate.

She told me that I didn't need anyone like a boyfriend or best friends to be happy. Because they can even bring you down. I understand that. She told me that she didn't even need Atom (her boyfriend) and that she would do just fine without him.

I told her that I just wanted someone and that I wasn't into guys my age much because they weren't that mature. She told me that she understands exactly where I'm coming from because they aren't mature.

She said if you look for love chance are you won't be able to find it. I interrupted her and told her "Oh, I know. I've tried so hard to and haven't had any luck. No guy's interested in me or seems to want me." It's just best to let it find you. Eventually it will happen with time. I sure hope that it will and hope that it will happen soon. Because 16 years is a long time not to have anyone in your life to have that chance to fall in love and be happy with.

Anyways, I'm so glad that I met them two. They have changed my whole outlook on how I see things with this situation.

Hurt

Hurt

I'm tired of this hurt

I'm tired of this pain

But no matter how hard I try it just won't go away

Day after day it gets worse

Sometimes I feel as if I've been cursed

I just want somebody, I just need somebody

Somebody to fall in love with but yet I have nobody

I try my best

All I get is stressed

No one wants to be with me

Even though I'm free

They say that looks aren't all that

Even though I'm a little fat

Personality is key

To me


I'm tired of this hurt

I'm tired of this pain

Would someone please help all of this go away?